Interpol Issues European Arrest Warrant For Man Posing As Irish Prime Minister

Police searching for man heard peddling
failed economic theories, all understood to be stolen,
in Brussels, Dublin, and Bangor Erris.
Approach with caution. May initially
appear to be real person but is actually
four decades worth of sheepish
Connacht Final handshakes
and a blonde headful of borrowed talk.

He sweeps into rooms loaded
with their own significance
doing little justice to the dark blue suit
we raided our piggy banks to buy him.
Twitching about his Castlebar trap,
the fair day smirk that says
I thought for a minute
they were onto us, but think
we got away with it.
In serious danger
of being overshadowed by the waiter,
who could probably teach him
a thing or three about

Never sees an enemy coming
without immediately offering them
another piece of the country,
before they’ve even put
the ultimatum in writing;
when he urged the Greek people
to follow his example, geologists say
on an island off the coast of Brittany
Marshal Petain’s willy twitched
awake in its grave and began whispering
to itself in perfect High German,
that the good old days
are here again.