From InYourFaceBook, by Ian Duhig

Ian Duhig



What figure traditionally embodying Ireland speaks with a thick Sheffield accent?
The Sean Bean Vocht.

I love that beautiful song old song in Irish about a dark Chinese sauce called ‘Hóisín Dubh’.

You’ll already know the first rule of Assumption Club.

Housman gained his poetic superpowers when he was bitten by a radioactive house.

Je est un otter. – Tarkaud

John Cage stopped writing poetry when he ran out of nothing to say.

Advice to young poets: even very attractive people will rather have sex with you than listen to you talk about poetry. Use this power wisely.

– “I’m on the new cannabis diet.”
– “Oh! How does that work?”
– “How does what work?”

There are only two ways to write a poem and the best way is always the third way.

How many LRB reviewers does it take to change a light bulb?
We’ll never know; counting is a feminist weapon. (In context of LRB’s terrible figures for publishing women and saying when challenged about not monitoring contributor statistics that “Counting is a feminist weapon).

When Mary Beard lectures on the Second Punic War she uses a special podium.It’s called her Hannibal lectern.

How is being a poet like being the third page of a Google search? Nobody gives a shit what you have to say.


Read more of poet and educator Ian Duhig’s jokes, one-liners, and strange aphorisms here and here