The Flying Column #30 – “Vote Evil, for Good” – US ELECTION SPECIAL


By Connor Kelly

“America is great because it’s good” – Hillary Clinton

“Just we’ve gotta be nice and cool, nice and cool. Right, stay on point Donald, stay on point.” – Donald Trump

“Climate change is at stake” – Hillary Clinton

“You’re disgusting.” Donald Trump



Living rooms around the world are undergoing fumigation to remove traces of the vomit that was expelled over the course of the presidential debates. Pansies. I for one am enjoying it. At least this time the bile and contempt are there for all to see, rather than comfortably couched in neoliberal newspeak. But I know – it’s starting to drag, isn’t it? When will it all be over? Soon!

With Her?

Liberals and liberals-posing-as-socialists everywhere have declared that all right-thinking Americans must now vote for Hillary Clinton or their souls will be forfeit. Lily livered sycophants are queuing up to spout their “I’m with her” message. British journalist Laurie Penny, in a great victory for socialism, is with her. George Clooney (though no one cares) is with her. Even that guffawing and thoroughly dishonest dust-mite Michael Moore has jumped on the bandwagon with an hour long attempt at “stand-up” in which his tongue slithers so far up Hillary’s asshole that it almost envelopes his head (small mercies, I suppose). He’s definitely with her. Sicko. But if so many of the great and the good are with her, why isn’t she polling better?


There are many that admit Clinton’s shortcomings (shortcomings such as her murderous record as secretary of state, her unflinching support for neoliberal capitalism, and her unparalleled corruption), but inform us that Americans should vote for her as the “lesser evil.” You see, the liberals of this world have decided that there is a tolerable level of evil that we (usually not them) can endure. Apparently this level includes the continuing impoverishment of millions of Americans – “put up, shut up.” It also involves dropping large bombs on people around the world – “but Trump would be worse!” And of course, it means the total destruction of global ecosystems and possibly most of life on earth – “wait, what?” But all of this is necessary just so that Donald Fucking Trump doesn’t make it into the White House – it is simply an unfortunate by-product that Hillary Clinton does. The message? “Thou shalt not dream above your station.”


With Him?

“But Trump is a fascist!” Come on! If Donald Trump is a fascist then he is the singularly most pathetic fascist of all time. Mussolini would be spinning on his lamppost. That is not to say that there is anything remotely redeemable about Trump. He is a steaming turd. But the “Trump as fascist” argument seems mostly to be used in order to justify a lazy political position; support for the democrats. In fact, many of Trump’s “positions” (if you could call them that) are to the left of the Republican mainstream. After all, their initial criticisms of him centered around the fact that he wasn’t a proper conservative. The problem for the Republican establishment is not his grand-standing racism, sexism or incomprehensible ravings, it’s the fact that he consistently eviscerates the political class, the mainstream media and styles himself as “not a politician.” And in an age where politics seems as unreal as “The Apprentice” this strategy has worked, spectacularly.


But if they’re not fascist foot-soldiers, we can always denounce his supporters as thick, uneducated hillbilly hicks – we in this part of the world know that strategy works so well. Because the way you win people over people to your argument is by characterizing them as a zombie mass who should be spat on, disallowed from voting and probably killed. What a novel experience that must be for them!

The outstanding failure of this sort of “project fear” was demonstrated in the EU referendum. We were told by the gorgeous liberals in the New Statesman and the Guardian that although the EU was “imperfect” (understatement of the century), it was better than Nigel Farage, Boris Johnson and a resurrected Adolf Hitler with an army of storm-troopers forming a government. We got a nasty, racist (and incredibly weak) Tory administration led by Theresa May, but I’m still waiting for the BNP/EDL/whoever to stage their beer hall putsch down “The Red Lion.” UKIP’s doing well these days, aren’t they?

Trump represents the utter failure of the “extreme center.” That Hillary Clinton may “win” against this amadan only by a slim majority really tells us all we need to know about her. (For the record, my money is on Trump.) Her problem is that she sees the future as an endless iteration of the present. Her response to Trump’s “make America great again,” is “America is already great.” No it’s not Hillary, that’s the point. For millions of American’s, including her voters, America is not great, not at all. It is this fundamental disconnect – one shared by most of the US establishment – blue and red alike – that is at the root of their panic and fear mongering. The plebs are refusing to be herded! This wasn’t in the script! Even Bernie Sanders, a moderate social democrat, who would have been a marvelous candidate against Trump was too much for them to bear. Maintain the status quo at any cost. And what a cost! Even if she manages to scrape a victory in this election, she has lost. Her and her ilk are heading the way of the dodo.



But if you don’t wanna vote Republican or Democrat, sorry folks, there simply aren’t any more candidates in this election. They don’t exist.


But don’t listen to me.  Take the advice of what passes for much of “the left” today. Vote for Hillary, stay in the EU, wear a poppy, put an energy saving light bulb in, go to mindfulness classes and pray for a happy death….oh, and of course watch all of Michael Moore’s new releases.

Barack Obama says the world is at stake in this election. If only.