Urban Bogman, Day 19. Presidential, and the world according to Zarna Joshi (conversation with a taxi driver)

“So whatcha make of this whole thing?” he says before I’ve even strapped in my seatbelt. “Mental, innit?” and I’m like Excuse me? which is probably completely redundant but anyway…

“The ‘lection, yeah? For the pres’dent of ‘merica, yeah?”

Ah, right…

“See the two dopes who are running, I’m not even that concerned about them…”

he continues, obviously quite eager to discuss this…

“But the reason I think it’s mad is because everyone’s yappin’ on about it… as if any of our rulers have ever been anything but, you know… Persons of ehhh… Questionable moral character.”

Despots and tyrants, says I, but he cuts me off.

“Yeah, the best any of them have ever done is manage not to kill or maim a large portion of their people. Or someone else’s. That’s just what you do when you become king or emperor or president or whatever. Usually you just start taking off heads, then maybe get down to some other official business.”

Suppose that’s been a trend alright…

“And as if the world is gonna be like the tinted glasses of Zarna Joshi, where everyone is always mega nice to each other.” I have no idea who Zarna Joshi is. “You know, the Hugh Mungus lady? She went mad at some fella in a video, look it up. And I saw she went and made more videos of her being mad. I dunno… I think she’s kinda hot.”

“And the other day I had an American in the car, yeah, a real American. And she was sayin’ that she doesn’t like the way people in other countries tend to talk shite about what’s happening in her country right now… What was the word she used? Pontificate! That was it! But it’s funny, really…”

What the fuck does pontificate mean?

“It’s funny, like it’s the biggest cultural tyrant in the world, America is right now, and then people actually get angry when the rest of the world pays attention, that’s what I think is the funny bit! As if all that shoving McDonalds and Starbucks down everyone’s throat isn’t gonna have any sort of repercussions.”